I didn't know that myself was actually a person that emphasize a lot on special occasion- valentine's day (every 14th of the month), our anniversary (of course)...
I put a lot of effort everytime I choose present to give it to you.whether to give you something relevant..appropriate...it cracks my head>.<
Like today, I spent almost an hour in choosing suitable present for you.for upcoming thursday..
I do not feel like it's a waste of money nor time. I just want to give..from the bottom of my heart....
Tell me, which girl never wish for a flower from her other half??
I don't mind,really don't mind for not receiving any present from you.but, I hope I can receive flowers from you,someday...before it's too late.....
I can't bake, not really good in craft, i'm just that sucks..I know something handmade is the most sincere gift ever, but, I just don't have he ability...sorry to say.....
Anyhow, wait for my upcoming present ba... even it might be something minor for you, but it meant a lot to me....and please don't ever tell me ' you don't have to give me anything during any occasion, it makes me feel guilty because I don't give anything in return'...again it slashed my heart that moment......
# you broke my heart, but I still love you with all my pieces #
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
The Edge of Happiness
This incident happened about 2 weeks ago..but I can still remember vividly..because it has slashed a piece of my heart's flesh...
That morning wasn't that perfect for me. My mood and behavior have changed 180degree that morning.I can still recalled the time: 6.55am..
As usual, I was waiting for his arrival^^ full of anticipation...
However, all my anticipation, excitement were broken into pieces, when he started to show his temper in front of me, due to his failure on searching his ruler =.=
At that moment, the usually patient me, wasn't that patient anymore. I mean, this time, I totally have expressed out my dissatisfaction and anger because of his way of treating me.! in short, I exploded., just like volcano..BOOM!~
I went down to the assembly, isolated myself from others. I really unintended to open my mouth to speak to anyone.I afraid I will, you know, !@#$@#!
Returned to class, until 3rd period of lesson. when I wanted to use ruler, SURPRISINGLY his ruler(may be his or may be not), lying in it! I'm like WTF??! Goddamn it! WHAT A PRANK??!
because the morning itself, he asked me whether or not I have it, accidentally or deliberately. I answered, NO, i don't have it.confidently..
Normal human behavior will be, return the stuff to its owner, right? so I did.
Unfortunately..this kind of added to his frustration. I wonder why..okay maybe I'm at fault too, but, come on, it's JUST-A-RULER! because of that almost-everyone-in-the-calss-is-using-the-same-ruler, you simply showed me your temper? HUH?
That Friday, we did not talk to each other...until.....
11pm..you messaged me...the two words that I wouldn't want to see the most, appeared,even it's just a question asked from you, not a sentence nor decision make by you. still, it hurts...
I, made a sentence showing agreement about your question.eventhough how reluctant I was.
Rolling myself on the bed,cried my heart out.,online to kill time..until 2am, then only I managed to close my eye lids...woke myself up at 530am, with triple eye lids..feeling emotionless..heartless..speechless..motionless..how I wish I need not to go to school on that saturday morning.....because I rather not seeing you, than only seeing your back......
I felt weak at that moment...breathless....
Trying to occupy myself with activities, after running for 5km, I played badminton. Hit the shuttlecock as hard as possible.(sorry for my innocent friend).. Till the moment you messaged asking whether or not to go tuition together..surprise? a little. sadness? increased. heart soften? a lot. Final decision? NO .
I replied am not going to tuition..the reason, I just want to be quiet for a minute..I want to learn to be independent, when you are no longer by my side ...
Sometimes, you planned to eat rice, but you can't resist the temptation of curry mee, so you opt for curry mee at last ..
I planned not to go tuition, but I can't resist myself after you texted me that you wish to see my presence at tuition centre..I went.......
embarrassment? never..because your calling, your face,moved my step towards you again....
This was definitely not some drama script..we bid farewell to each other after class..I walked towards east, you went north...
two hands in pockets, head down, tears rolling,decision playing in mind, heart mending every pieces inside..
A quick turn 0ver, a fast walk, searching for you, found you easily in popular....approached you, hit your shoes.asked for forgiveness with regretful for agreeing to break up..you held me, but failed to carry my head up because I wouldnt want to let you see the ugly me with tears.....
We're fine..........
# What do I do when the one that broke my heart, is the only one that can fix it #
That morning wasn't that perfect for me. My mood and behavior have changed 180degree that morning.I can still recalled the time: 6.55am..
As usual, I was waiting for his arrival^^ full of anticipation...
However, all my anticipation, excitement were broken into pieces, when he started to show his temper in front of me, due to his failure on searching his ruler =.=
At that moment, the usually patient me, wasn't that patient anymore. I mean, this time, I totally have expressed out my dissatisfaction and anger because of his way of treating me.! in short, I exploded., just like volcano..BOOM!~
I went down to the assembly, isolated myself from others. I really unintended to open my mouth to speak to anyone.I afraid I will, you know, !@#$@#!
Returned to class, until 3rd period of lesson. when I wanted to use ruler, SURPRISINGLY his ruler(may be his or may be not), lying in it! I'm like WTF??! Goddamn it! WHAT A PRANK??!
because the morning itself, he asked me whether or not I have it, accidentally or deliberately. I answered, NO, i don't have it.confidently..
Normal human behavior will be, return the stuff to its owner, right? so I did.
Unfortunately..this kind of added to his frustration. I wonder why..okay maybe I'm at fault too, but, come on, it's JUST-A-RULER! because of that almost-everyone-in-the-calss-is-using-the-same-ruler, you simply showed me your temper? HUH?
That Friday, we did not talk to each other...until.....
11pm..you messaged me...the two words that I wouldn't want to see the most, appeared,even it's just a question asked from you, not a sentence nor decision make by you. still, it hurts...
I, made a sentence showing agreement about your question.eventhough how reluctant I was.
Rolling myself on the bed,cried my heart out.,online to kill time..until 2am, then only I managed to close my eye lids...woke myself up at 530am, with triple eye lids..feeling emotionless..heartless..speechless..motionless..how I wish I need not to go to school on that saturday morning.....because I rather not seeing you, than only seeing your back......
I felt weak at that moment...breathless....
Trying to occupy myself with activities, after running for 5km, I played badminton. Hit the shuttlecock as hard as possible.(sorry for my innocent friend).. Till the moment you messaged asking whether or not to go tuition together..surprise? a little. sadness? increased. heart soften? a lot. Final decision? NO .
I replied am not going to tuition..the reason, I just want to be quiet for a minute..I want to learn to be independent, when you are no longer by my side ...
Sometimes, you planned to eat rice, but you can't resist the temptation of curry mee, so you opt for curry mee at last ..
I planned not to go tuition, but I can't resist myself after you texted me that you wish to see my presence at tuition centre..I went.......
embarrassment? never..because your calling, your face,moved my step towards you again....
This was definitely not some drama script..we bid farewell to each other after class..I walked towards east, you went north...
two hands in pockets, head down, tears rolling,decision playing in mind, heart mending every pieces inside..
A quick turn 0ver, a fast walk, searching for you, found you easily in popular....approached you, hit your shoes.asked for forgiveness with regretful for agreeing to break up..you held me, but failed to carry my head up because I wouldnt want to let you see the ugly me with tears.....
We're fine..........
# What do I do when the one that broke my heart, is the only one that can fix it #
Friday, May 6, 2011
sick
Actually I do not have the habit of writing when I'm feeling down..But guess I'll just spend a few minutes to confess everything,anything that made my day a cloudy one.
I just don't know why, can't guys out there(including mine) be a little straight forward?
I mean, when someone asked you a question, please reply her(obviously it's me) with at least a 'yes' or 'no'!
don't just sit at there and stare and mind started to think something negatively, something which you think your better half has no longer care about you, no longer love you or whatsoever..It definitely piss her(me again) off but since I have quite a high level of tolerance, I left you alone,for goodness sake. I beg you, please?
When you're down, you turn me down too(which you might not aware of). When I'm down and I feel that you isolated me or maybe you need some personal space, I just had to get a little bit angry and emo. How? very easy, since you ain't talking to me, why should I?
I am not able to carry on due to some incidence...take care readers.bye
I just don't know why, can't guys out there(including mine) be a little straight forward?
I mean, when someone asked you a question, please reply her(obviously it's me) with at least a 'yes' or 'no'!
don't just sit at there and stare and mind started to think something negatively, something which you think your better half has no longer care about you, no longer love you or whatsoever..It definitely piss her(me again) off but since I have quite a high level of tolerance, I left you alone,for goodness sake. I beg you, please?
When you're down, you turn me down too(which you might not aware of). When I'm down and I feel that you isolated me or maybe you need some personal space, I just had to get a little bit angry and emo. How? very easy, since you ain't talking to me, why should I?
I am not able to carry on due to some incidence...take care readers.bye
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
一巴
过了十二点，冷战就满一星期。
一星期又一星期。。我看把所有时间凑起来都会多过我睡觉的时间。
这一巴， 是在没有经过大脑之前扫的巴。多手咯！在人家光滑的脸上赐了两巴。第一次是在醉醉的情况下，第二次嘛，也许靠得太近了，忍不住拍了下去！
我当让没有那个特权来扫你啊！但人家又不是故意的。兜来兜去，还不是不敢承认是自己的错。为自己找借口说什么一定是之前也被人扫过，所以非常厌恶在扫过他的人（我）。但，真的，我不是第一个哦！（他说的）
他：如果你给我扫回一巴，我就原谅你！
我（心里想）：其实我心里很乱 。。
这两巴，你刻骨铭心。
但我为你付出的，关心过你的，又不见你记得那么清楚！
看来一次的不对，就以足够让你抹掉我对你的好。很好！！！
谁最笨? 是我.
谁多管闲事?是我.
谁自作多情?是我.
谁小气?是你.
谁大男人?是你.
谁犯了错? 是我和你.
本来就不应该出现在对方的世界里...开心时,你是最棒的! 闹性子时,曾有多少个'算了'浮现在脑海里.忘了争吵了几次,为了什么原因.也不知挽救了几次,说了多少个对不起...
也许,这次真的该算了 ,让时间冲淡心中的不满,然后再慢慢从脑袋里抹掉我..
不想问自己到底想怎样,良心过意得去没有,将来会后悔吗?我只知道, 我累了.脸皮再也不够厚了..
一星期又一星期。。我看把所有时间凑起来都会多过我睡觉的时间。
这一巴， 是在没有经过大脑之前扫的巴。多手咯！在人家光滑的脸上赐了两巴。第一次是在醉醉的情况下，第二次嘛，也许靠得太近了，忍不住拍了下去！
我当让没有那个特权来扫你啊！但人家又不是故意的。兜来兜去，还不是不敢承认是自己的错。为自己找借口说什么一定是之前也被人扫过，所以非常厌恶在扫过他的人（我）。但，真的，我不是第一个哦！（他说的）
他：如果你给我扫回一巴，我就原谅你！
我（心里想）：其实我心里很乱 。。
这两巴，你刻骨铭心。
但我为你付出的，关心过你的，又不见你记得那么清楚！
看来一次的不对，就以足够让你抹掉我对你的好。很好！！！
谁最笨? 是我.
谁多管闲事?是我.
谁自作多情?是我.
谁小气?是你.
谁大男人?是你.
谁犯了错? 是我和你.
本来就不应该出现在对方的世界里...开心时,你是最棒的! 闹性子时,曾有多少个'算了'浮现在脑海里.忘了争吵了几次,为了什么原因.也不知挽救了几次,说了多少个对不起...
也许,这次真的该算了 ,让时间冲淡心中的不满,然后再慢慢从脑袋里抹掉我..
不想问自己到底想怎样,良心过意得去没有,将来会后悔吗?我只知道, 我累了.脸皮再也不够厚了..
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